Conception age?

Teen health

Conception age?

Postby Kai-T_Chai-Tea » Wed Mar 31, 2021 6:36 pm

My boyfriend and I will be moving in together in the summer of next year, and we both want kids. The trouble is, I don’t know when we should start trying for a baby. Together, we are financially and emotionally ready for a baby, and we don’t want to wait too long to have kids because my parents are now in their forties and have a hyper toddler. I will be declared a legal adult at the age of 17. Should we have our first around 18/19?

Edit: let me explain the one parent emancipation thing. It’s something I had to write about and something that happens frequently in my area. Parents divorced, remarried, one step parent adopts the kid, which takes legal rights to the kid away from the other biological parent. This happened with my brother when my dad adopted him and will happen with me when my stepdad adopts me. I still need to get parental permission to move in with my mother, and once the adoption is finalized, my mother could choose to proceed with a Deed Permission, which is just a fancy way of saying I can live on my own at the age of seventeen. Unless there is a change of plans on my mom’s part, this is what’s going to play out from the end of this month to this time next year.
Last edited by Kai-T_Chai-Tea on Mon Apr 05, 2021 1:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Conception age?

Postby Beardog » Thu Apr 01, 2021 4:08 am

Personally I think early 20's to 30's is a good age to start trying. If anything it'll be long enough to make sure your body is actually physically ready to support a pregnancy to term.

But really as long as you're a legal adult no one can really stop you or get anyone put in jail for having intercourse with a minor.
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Re: Conception age?

Postby Selenelion » Thu Apr 01, 2021 2:17 pm

yup. Bear's right.
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Re: Conception age?

Postby Strawberry123 » Thu Apr 01, 2021 6:06 pm

Seriously, wait til you're older. There are actually more options besides having a kid whilst you're still a kid and having one when you're in your 40s. Having a child whilst you're a teen is ridiculous.
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Re: Conception age?

Postby cacahuate86 » Thu Apr 01, 2021 7:14 pm

There are a lot of factors to consider.
Physically, you're at your most fertile between 15 and 25. Emotionally, you're likely not ready until you're at least in your mid-20s. And unless you have a large inheritance or are just really lucky on the job front, financially, you're probably not 'ready' until you're in your 30s. Not that it can't be done on a budget. But ideally, you're finanially secure enough that at least one of you can take off work for two years or so until the child is old enough for daycare (and then daycare has to be paid for as well... on top of all the other expenses that come with a child).

I think if you're 15 and seriously debating on whether you should get pregnant while you're still in your teens, you're 10000000% not mature enough to be a parent.
You aren't even living together yet and won't be for a while... I'd bet a hand and a foot that you won't even be together anymore by the time you're 17! You're still a child yourself. You haven't really experienced life on your own yet, you haven't paid taxes yet or really contributed a whole lot to society at large. What do you even know about raising a valuable member of society at this point? You're entirely unequipped to have and raise a child. I know this sounds harsh... but go to school, get some perspective, travel, experience the world out there and carve out your space in it. And in 10 years, have kids if you still want them.
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Re: Conception age?

Postby PositiveVibes08 » Thu Apr 01, 2021 7:26 pm

I understand being too young, and I don't intend to have a baby for a while.
But is it ok to wish I could have a child?
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Re: Conception age?

Postby theater_brat » Thu Apr 01, 2021 7:28 pm

i second that ^
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Re: Conception age?

Postby Selenelion » Thu Apr 01, 2021 8:04 pm

yes, I wish I could have a kid but I know I shouldn't and don't really want a kid, not all the responsibility at least.
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Re: Conception age?

Postby cacahuate86 » Thu Apr 01, 2021 8:21 pm

PositiveVibes08 wrote:I understand being too young, and I don't intend to have a baby for a while.
But is it ok to wish I could have a child?

Of ourse that is okay. But a child is not a toy. It is a tremendous responsibility, bringing a child into this world. Not only are you raising the next generation of people to inhabit this planet, but you're also responsible for the planet you're bringing it into. If you're a child, simply by your young age, you likely haven't really had much opportunity to leave a mark that makes the world a better place... a place safe enough and worthy to bring a child into. By most of the comments in the teen section here (and I mean that with all the affection I have for you kids on here!), most of you know jack-all about the world much less how you will eventually fit into it as its custodians until some day your own children can take over.
Of course you can want to have a child... as long as you're aware that having a child isn't about you. It's about the child!

I have a son I adopted at age 13. His parents were grown ups, they were financially secure, most of all, they loved him very much. Then a war broke out and they died. His uncle, burdened by his own desperation, robbed him, he got beaten and raped and abused until he finally found his way to us.
We don't live in a world anymore in which you have children to have enough people around who can take care of you when you're old. There are 8 billion people on this planet. We don't live in a world anymore in which we have enough space and resources to just pop out kids left and right because babies are cute. Loving your boyfriend and thinking having a child with him may be cool is not enough. Loving your partner and wanting someone else as a living, breathing product of that love is not enough. You need to think about that child. Not until it's 5 or 10 or 18 or 25. But until your child is 90 and ready to die. What are you doing to make the world a place worth living in for your child? Who are you to be qualified to raise a child that's aware of its own responsibilities when it grows up?
You should want to intentionally and purposefully want and feel ready and equipped to take on the responsibility of having and raising a child, conscious of ALL that that means.
Therefore, children need to be raised by adults. Not by children who are still figuring all this stuff out. Because it's hard enough as is when you've got your shit together... but it's endlessly narcissistic to seriously plan to be a teenage mom when you're 15.
Half the adults having children do it for the wrong reasons... I'm not afraid to be controversial and claim that all the teens having children do it for the wrong reasons... certainly all the teens who planned getting pregnant.

And I get it. The OP sees her parents struggling with a child that may or may not be genetically affected by its parents advanced age. But it doesn't have to be 18 or 48. There is nothing wrong with having a child at 30. Or adopting one of the 300 000 000 - that's THREE HUNDRED MILLION - children under 18 living in this world who, for one reason or another, don't have parents and are in desperate need of a loving home.
Babies are cute, children are awesome - nobody is disputing that. But don't be irresponsible with the lives you may choose to raise and shape one day. If you just want someone who loves you unconditionally... get a dog!
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Re: Conception age?

Postby Lou30 » Thu Apr 01, 2021 10:30 pm

Ok my advice is don't have a kid until your at least 23 BC then u get to have some party days cause trust me as soon as you have a kid u can't have a day off so wait till early 20's or 30's
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