Thoughts on Friends with Benefits?

Relationship with your partner

Thoughts on Friends with Benefits?

Postby Aaoi » Mon Feb 08, 2021 9:13 am

Hi all,
Growing up with a conservative family,i never spoke about relationships or s*x with my family..
I've never had a proper relationship even though I am 31yo. (Im not virgin)
Last year i heard from my roommate about 'friends with benefits' and how he thinks is more common than I think..
At that time I didn't think much of it but a couple of months ago I started a FWB relationship with someone and I would like to know the thoughts about this from other women...
I don't have anyone to ask about this kind of things (is it usually short period, do men expect something at the end, any experiences Etc)
I am not interested in a romantic relationship with this person since I was in love with that* roommate lol and i feel tired of all the emotional things I went through with him..and that friend knows about it too...

Any experiences out there?
Thank you! 😊 .. and I'm sorry for the long comment ..
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Re: Thoughts on Friends with Benefits?

Postby Hyphen » Mon Feb 08, 2021 10:04 am

Hi, I think you just need some company.

For me, I'd rather have a one night stand with a random guy (but make sure to use condom) than mess around with one of my friends.

There's a possibility that at the end of "friends with benefits" relationship, one of you might fall in love with each other since you have a good foundation, which is your friendship with him.

Men fall in love easily than Women.

But if you really want to try that friends with benefits relationship with him, make sure to set boundaries and prepare yourself for the possibility that you might lose him in the end.
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Re: Thoughts on Friends with Benefits?

Postby Ado » Mon Feb 08, 2021 10:59 am

I have problem with making general statements like "men fall in love easily than women" where was this proven? But anyways

OP... I have had more FWB than committed relationships and I'm 35. Some lasted at least a year. It's great. But not for everyone. Just don't confuse the sweetness with love. Know what it is and as soon as you realize you're not on the same page, end it.

There are situations where FWB become lovers. But be very careful of falling in love, then saying the other person hurt you, while love was not part of the plan.

Otherwise, it's a great way to distress, no strings attached. But don't be disrespected even if someone is not yr boyfriend
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Re: Thoughts on Friends with Benefits?

Postby Amcasp » Mon Feb 08, 2021 11:41 am

Tried FWB with my best friend and it ended miserably. I was 16, he was 18, and the entirety of our FWB was through crybersex. He was the first guy to see me naked and I the first girl to see him naked. Thing is, we only agreed to be FWB under the condition that both of us were single. However, our "first time," happened while he was still with his girlfriend and she dumped him three days later (different reason, she never found out about us).

Two months of bliss later and I start questioning if I should even be with this guy. We weren't boyfriend-girlfriend, he still seemed to be mourning for his ex, and I had fallen in love with him.

It all came to an end a few days after I talked to my sister about what I was doing. She didn't care, but I just wanted to know if what I was doing was okay. I ended up telling him about this and he freaked out. Because of our age difference, he believed that he could go to jail now if my sister reported him. It didn't matter to him why I was asking, only that now he couldn't trust me. We took a break for a while so he could "decide what to do with me," and when he came back a month later, he said that we were over and he never wanted to see me again.

Because he was my first love and I had shared so much with him, I fell into a heavy depression that lasted for at least two years before I got to manageable levels. After four years I could think of him without crying. It will now come up to seven years without him next month.

About two years into mourning, he popped up again to see how I was doing and told me that he had actually fallen in love with me. According to him, it was why he was so hurt when I talked to my sister about us. At the four year mark he popped up again to try and apologize, saying that now he knows that he overreacted. I have him blocked everywhere and haven't heard a peep since.
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