intimacy

Relationship with your partner

intimacy

Postby tmta » Mon Nov 09, 2020 2:02 am

My husband doesn't enjoy physical intimacy and it's killing me. We haven't kiss for more than a year and he seems fine with it, he rarely hugs me, will push me away if I try to hug him. It's not that he doesn't love me he has done so much for me. I'm just dying inside. Do anyone have a cold partner, please tell me how you deal with it?
tmta
 
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Re: intimacy

Postby Roxysmom45 » Mon Nov 09, 2020 2:21 am

You need to have a serious chat with him about your feelings here, if you don't,it'll ruin the communication and you'll start to hate each other...
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Re: intimacy

Postby Ado » Mon Nov 09, 2020 3:40 am

Pushing you away, not kissing or hugging? This is not normal. It's like you disgust him. Those are basic ways to be affectionate.

Have a formal conversation indeed. Let him know how this makes you feel. Is your hygiene good, mouth and underarms or so?

It's like something is repelling him. He should tell you if it's hygiene related so you can fix it.

Do you guys have s*x thou and other intimate moments somehow?
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Re: intimacy

Postby Childfromthesun » Mon Nov 09, 2020 4:46 am

No kissing or hugging for over a YEAR? That’s not normal in any shape or form! There’s only two possibilities honey.

A. He doesn’t love you.
B. He’s been sexually abused in some way.

You need to talk to him and figure out which one it is. Sorry to break it to you. Your relationship is not sustainable like this. You need to get to the bottom of it or leave.
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Re: intimacy

Postby tmta » Mon Nov 09, 2020 4:57 am

He said he needs some space cuz we see each other 24/7 live together, went to school together, and now work together. He says if he let me get too close I will hug him forever. I guess I'm a bit needy, but when I tried to give him space, a year went by without any kissing. Sometimes when I'm half asleep he hugs me and sometimes kiss me on the cheek, and he allows me to hug him when we're going to bed.
We do have s*x like once a month, but lately he's been watching porn while we're on it. I feel like we're fwb or something.
I know it's not hygiene cuz he says that I don't have any smell, either good or bad smell.
He's been commenting on my body that I'm too skinny. I'm 5'4, 108 lbs, which is still in the normal bmi range. But I was 120 lbs when we started dating. His whole family's been commenting on my weight, but my mom says that I'm fine. I feel like he's not physically attracted to me anymore.
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Re: intimacy

Postby tmta » Mon Nov 09, 2020 5:01 am

My mom said that he probably loves me more than I love him, he's just not the affectionate type. She once saw him push me away and she thinks that it's weird too.
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Re: intimacy

Postby Ado » Mon Nov 09, 2020 5:37 am

No sorry girl. He's certainly not attracted to you. If he could redesign you, he could. No body does that to someone they deeply care about. Imagine a child running to hug you, and you push them away, you know how damaging that is mentally?

No way you can say you care about that kid's feelings.

There's no logic there. You can't love and care about someone and not want to be affectionate in some ways. It's impossible. It doesn't go together girl. You need to decide here. Watching porn while having s*x with you, which only happens once a month? He's treating you like a handout person.
C'mon. Don't tell me you feel this is normal
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Re: intimacy

Postby Childfromthesun » Mon Nov 09, 2020 5:56 am

tmta wrote:He said he needs some space cuz we see each other 24/7 live together, went to school together, and now work together. He says if he let me get too close I will hug him forever. I guess I'm a bit needy, but when I tried to give him space, a year went by without any kissing. Sometimes when I'm half asleep he hugs me and sometimes kiss me on the cheek, and he allows me to hug him when we're going to bed.
We do have s*x like once a month, but lately he's been watching porn while we're on it. I feel like we're fwb or something.
I know it's not hygiene cuz he says that I don't have any smell, either good or bad smell.
He's been commenting on my body that I'm too skinny. I'm 5'4, 108 lbs, which is still in the normal bmi range. But I was 120 lbs when we started dating. His whole family's been commenting on my weight, but my mom says that I'm fine. I feel like he's not physically attracted to me anymore.


He’s making excuses to not touch you. My husband and I go home and go to work in the same place and now we’ve been together to 24/7 since Covid started because we both switched to work at home. We’ve been together for 11 years and we have no issues. He shouldn’t either if he truly cares. The only other option is that he’s cheating on you and feels guilty for touching you because he’s in love with another person.
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Re: intimacy

Postby tmta » Tue Nov 10, 2020 12:19 am

I think there is more to it. If he didn't love me he wouldn't have married me cuz he's a Christian, they only marry once in their life.
If he was onced abused, how do I get him to be open to me? He doesn't talk much about his feelings so it's ways hard to tell.
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Re: intimacy

Postby Ado » Tue Nov 10, 2020 12:29 am

He's a Christian and they marry once in their lives? I can name few renowned Pastors who are divorced and remarried. But you know him better. We advise based on information on hand .

I think for therapy. You need to have a formal deep conversation with him. Lay down your feelings and say how this is damaging also to yr self-esteem.

Ask him why, that you there for him, but if there's something, he needs help for sake of yr marriage.

I mean if he cares and loves you as much as you claim, he shouldn't need a hard push to seek for help.
Also he can open up to a Church Pastor as a start or something.
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