17 weeks pregnant

Now I am pregnant!

17 weeks pregnant

Postby Crabgrass19 » Sat May 23, 2020 12:27 pm

I'm 17 weeks as of today and starting to feel really heartless. I have zero connection with my son (found out the s*x with the blood test) and I feel so disconnected from my body too. I haven't even heard his heartbeat yet or felt him moving around. It sounds awful to say this, but I'm starting to wonder if I should have even wanted a child to begin with because I cant seem to be excited for this. Whenever people ask if I'm excited I always tell them 'yes' because that's what you're supposed to be when in reality I'm not. Has anyone else felt this way during pregnancy? Wanting to keep everyone including your SO at arms length and felt heartless for not being connected/excited?
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Re: 17 weeks pregnant

Postby Kylin » Sat May 23, 2020 3:02 pm

How come you haven't heard heartbeat yet? I know that helped for me. I'm currently 14 weeks and have felt how you feel but it was more so out of fear of growing attached to baby and losing during pregnancy. Also losing connection with my boyfriend and not being able to be a good mom still to my 6 year old. But after my 2nd ultrasound and hearing heartbeat I realized it was my fear making me feel that way. If there is someone close to you to talk about it I would suggest that too.
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Re: 17 weeks pregnant

Postby Crabgrass19 » Sat May 23, 2020 3:45 pm

It's been hard. My OB has seemed in such a hurry during all the appointments that it's just a look at the baby and than leave. I've also had to go to radiology already because of a rare disease that runs in my family. I thought I would hear the heartbeat there but I didnt. It just seems like the doctors are in such a hurry to get out. I get that there's a pandemic but the nurse knows I'm having a hard time connecting or feeling excited. I haven't wanted to talk to my husband because I know he'll think I'm a monster because I know I do. There's really no one that I can talk to about this so I posted here to see if this is normal. Because right now I feel ashamed for not being connected or excited. All I feel is fear about my depression getting worse and if I'm causing harm to an innocent baby.
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Re: 17 weeks pregnant

Postby Dimi » Sun May 24, 2020 5:02 am

I don’t think you are heartless or a monster for that matter.
I believe you’re just unlucky for not having had the opportunity to connect with your baby during an ultrasound session. I was feeling really detached myself, hearing the heartbeat did not even matter (I was glad to know the baby was doing ok but I felt nothing myself). When I first saw my baby on screen, making movements and looking like a real person, something got to me and felt excited. I believe the true bond with our children will come after their birth, when we get to spend time with them, to look at them and smell them etc. Hang in there and don’t feel guilty. Just take care of yourself, stay healthy and calm and the connection will naturally come.
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Re: 17 weeks pregnant

Postby Johnsmom » Sun May 24, 2020 6:12 pm

Have you thought about changing Dr's? I know that them being in a hurry doesn't help your situation. I believe if you can find someone that will take the time with you will probably help you. I also agree with the previous post about hearing the heartbeat could help with a connection.
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Re: 17 weeks pregnant

Postby Crabgrass19 » Mon May 25, 2020 5:33 am

I have to switch doctors because my current one is going into solely labor and delivery. Its frustrating because this is the 3rd doctor I've been to during this short time because of a bunch of things. I'm hoping this one will actually take time instead of relying on the nurse. I thought I would hear the heartbeat before now but I haven't yet nor have I felt movement. Its discouraging because you see all these people saying the feel the movement and and hear the heartbeat and I haven't had that yet. It's hard to connect with something that you only see on a screen when you cant feel it or hear that it has life.
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Re: 17 weeks pregnant

Postby Johnsmom » Mon May 25, 2020 2:25 pm

I understand completely. I'm hoping this Dr will take the time with you and is more detailed. Please keep us updated after you see another Dr and let us know how everything goes. I'm really sorry you are going through this.



Crabgrass19 wrote:I have to switch doctors because my current one is going into solely labor and delivery. Its frustrating because this is the 3rd doctor I've been to during this short time because of a bunch of things. I'm hoping this one will actually take time instead of relying on the nurse. I thought I would hear the heartbeat before now but I haven't yet nor have I felt movement. Its discouraging because you see all these people saying the feel the movement and and hear the heartbeat and I haven't had that yet. It's hard to connect with something that you only see on a screen when you cant feel it or hear that it has life.
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