My fiancé doesn’t want to move out of his parents with me!!!

Relationship with your partner

My fiancé doesn’t want to move out of his parents with me!!!

Postby FlakyCupcake98 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 7:02 pm

Hi ladies!! So first things first I’m having a bit trouble with my fiancé on us moving out of his parents.... but he doesn’t want to or just makes up excuses why we shouldn’t. I’ve had depression before and still have anxiety but it doesn’t seem to worry him even though I’ve talked about it with him and says he cares but his actions don’t really show it. His parents are really rude and loud and just disrespectful to each other and disrespect my fiancé. As I’ve witnessed the chaos that goes around there... I always tend to lock myself in the room because it’s the only place safe and quiet-ish ? I honestly been open to him about why I don’t like living here and the cons that I don’t like. Whenever I ask him I want to move out or want to buy something for us he rolls his eyes and asks why then he just shuts me down and says no we have those things, I mean his parents things aren’t mine I can’t touch or move or do what’s not mine, it’s not my house. And there have been several occasions where his parents want him out but then the next day they forget about it. At times I’m super confused and angry on how can someone call their son useless and a d*** and an a-hole and a b**** and so on and the next day forget about everything!!! I’m mentally not happy or anything anymore things get worse everyday and he just doesn’t seem to notice I talk about my feelings and stuff but then says to not get mad or overreact!!! I honestly don’t know what to do anymore talking or showing him how I am doesn’t work his parents don’t care about anything. I don’t know what to do anymore.... I just need advice!!! HELP!!!
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Re: My fiancé doesn’t want to move out of his parents with m

Postby GloryS » Tue Mar 31, 2020 7:18 pm

If words don't work then show him with actions if he doesn't listen to you and move out then you will leave him.
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Re: My fiancé doesn’t want to move out of his parents with m

Postby Niki vz » Tue Mar 31, 2020 8:40 pm

If I were you I'd definitely try a different approach. Maybe book a couple of viewings for potential houses that are on the market and then say to your fiance "I know we have had many conversations about this topic, but I've booked an appointment to view a house and I'd really like for you to go with me" - obviously after the whole Coronavirus situation has been sorted.

Maybe actually seeing a house where you guys could potentially move into will make him more excited and optimistic about the situation.

Also, he probably feels under pressure to move out of his parents house (totally understand your frustration though) but maybe there's a different reason as to why he doesn't want to move out i.e finances. Have you guys discussed that? Maybe his concerns are directed at his financial standing. All in all, there could be a valid reason as to why he doesn't want to move out.. But if there isn't, I'd definitely encourage him to go to viewings with you and to let him vision the exciting aspects of having your own home, space and freedom. If that fails, I'd move out into my own place, he would probably follow you shortly after that.

All the best. X
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Re: My fiancé doesn’t want to move out of his parents with m

Postby LyshaRose2 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 9:02 pm

Hi, so that really sucks. It sounds like you are ready for the next steps of your relationship/getting your own space, but that your partner isn’t ready to commit to that. Because he is making excuses, In my opinion, it shows how immature he is. Not ready to leave mom and dad- at some point he has to grow up!
So, I like what the ladies said prior about scheduling tours of houses. Shows how serious you are, but if he’s not on board then what? I know you are engaged and don’t want to live separate. However, if mentally and emotionally you aren’t happy I would consider getting your own place.
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Re: My fiancé doesn’t want to move out of his parents with m

Postby FlakyCupcake98 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:14 pm

Thanks for the feedback ladies ? I have done showings before and we have been accepted for many homes and apartments but he just doesn’t want to. We are financially great tbh. Whenever I bring up anything he shuts me out about it. Honestly whenever he comments that to his parents they think we can’t live on our own or are financially not great on how to handle money but honestly we are great on it they don’t know about it and whenever I give my opinion they think we wouldn’t know what to do and that if we leave they think we will be back or struggle on ourselves but honestly we don’t. Sometimes I think they’re brainwashing him on the negatives especially that he shouldn’t marry me or think I just don’t know how to handle stuff on our own. My fiancé literally listens to his parents and not other’s opinions.
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Re: My fiancé doesn’t want to move out of his parents with m

Postby Melissacus » Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:49 pm

How old are you guys? He sounds like he's afraid to live away from mommy and daddy. Not attractive or appealing in any way, personally. If he isn't willing to listen to you, I say it's a deal breaker right away. You two aren't married. Do you have children? If not, I say you move out then on your own. Stay with him if you'd like (I wouldn't), but eventually he will start to visit you at your place and maybe he'll end up seeing how better it is. He might just be too comfortable at his parent's. If he doesn't come around, then I'd break it off and definitely not marry. This isn't a compromise you will be able to live with forever.
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Re: My fiancé doesn’t want to move out of his parents with m

Postby Melissacus » Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:50 pm

When I say stay with him if you like, I mean stay in the relationship with him, not in his parents home.
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Re: My fiancé doesn’t want to move out of his parents with m

Postby framoka » Wed Apr 01, 2020 12:19 am

Why don't you go find a place and leave to see what he says showing that you are serious about not wanting to be there anymore or have a talk and say if you want you can come with me but if you don't I don't want to live here anymore... And see what he says
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