I don’t know what to do

Relationship with your partner

I don’t know what to do

Postby LittleLady2000 » Tue Dec 18, 2018 12:46 am

As of today, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year and 8 months. The last 5 months have been the worst time of my life. This is going to be a very long one, but I would appreciate if I could have advice.
Before things started getting bad, I had already had really bad trust issues with my boyfriend. I’d go all day without even hearing from him. He told me it was because he slept, obviously I didn’t believe that. But he kept trying to make me believe it. The fights we would have would lead to me scratching my temples and my cheeks because of how bad things would get. We didn’t even have to be in person for that to happen. I scratched myself so hard once there was almost no way of hiding it from my parents. So one day I went to my dad and said I just woke up with them. He asked if my boyfriend did it and I said no. He dosent know he caused it either.
I ended up going to his house one night because I was just getting so worried about him because I hand heard from him.
He was sitting on his floor, with his phone right by him, playing on his PlayStation. He knew when I saw him that he would immediately regret it. All those days I wouldn’t hear from him(it went on for MONTHS) it was because he was hiding the fact he was playing. (There were many issues in the past with him plsying, he’d take his anger out onto me) so he wasn’t supposed to be playing until a certain time.
We broke up that night, and got back together not even 24 hours later.
We were fine for a while, he kept the PlayStation at my house so I could trust him.
About a month ago he started having family issues. His mom went into the hospital and is still currently there.
Within that month, I’ve seen him once, and twice at school.
He refuses to let me help with anything. He didn’t even want me at the hospital with him while he was in the waiting room.
We used to go to sleep on the phone before all this happened
Now when I try to call he denies my call on the first ring.
He’s told me he’s sick of me and that he dosent know if he can even care anymore.
He says I’m trying to get him to look bad and that I only tell my side of the story to people.
Within the last week and a half we’ve broken up 7 times.
Every night he tells me he’s going to shower, then I don’t hear from him till about 3 hours later. He claims he’s in there for that long, but I just can’t let myself believe that.
He won’t let me on his phone anymore because he thinks I snoop to much, but I have a reason to when he’s hidden so much from me in the past.
When we broke up about a week ago, I went through my whole room and threw all of his stuff into a bag and told him to come get it.
I threw down all my pictures I had hanging up of us. Which bothered him a lot.
We had a really bad pregnancy scare this past month, so that made things worse.
He tells me to “shut up” or “shut the f**k up” about ten through fifteen times a day if it’s not what he wants to hear
And currently
Right now
I was having a really bad panic attack about two hours ago. That’s the last I heard from him.
I tried calling his house phone and I tried texting his brother because I might be going to the hospital, but I can’t get ahold of him at all.
I feel like he’s lying to me again.
I really want us over, but I don’t at the same time
Can anyone give me any advice about anything
It would mean a lot
Thank you?
LittleLady2000
 
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Re: I don’t know what to do

Postby Chichiboba » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:05 am

You are not secure with yourself. You are not a priority to him. That's why he talks and acts a certain way with you. He has obviously taken u for granted. Know yourself before you enter a relationship. From what u are saying about the situation, he's not ready to commit. Move on while you don't have any kids or ties to this person.
Chichiboba
 
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Re: I don’t know what to do

Postby Hannahbananaxx » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:35 am

Hun it sounds like he’s no good for you, it also sounds like either you suffer from anxiety or he’s given you anxiety. You need to focus on the most important person here YOU. He’s being a child and you deserve a lot better than the way you’re being treated. It sounds like he couldn’t care less about you and your feelings. A man who loves someone would never talk to their partner like that. I’ve been there hun I think just about every woman has been there some degree. I didn’t wanna believe he wasn’t the one I thought I fell in love, but now I have someone who supports me and my bad days trust me he’s not the one for you especially if you’ve talked to him multiple times about how treats you best of luck to you hun
Hannahbananaxx
 
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Re: I don’t know what to do

Postby strummergirl » Tue Dec 18, 2018 9:31 pm

Honestly you sound very controlling and immature. You may want to take some time to work on yourself before trying to be in a relationship.
strummergirl
 
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Re: I don’t know what to do

Postby LittleLady2000 » Wed Dec 19, 2018 8:24 pm

Trust issues can make you that way honey?
I don’t control him with shit. I can’t say anything without it blowing up into a fight. So thank you very much for your input.
LittleLady2000
 
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Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:33 pm

Re: I don’t know what to do

Postby 0sem0 » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:52 pm

Sounds like both of you are very bad for each other and both of you are at fault. Yes, he should make time for you, but you also need to learn when to back off. Guys need their space and can't focus on their relationship 100% of the time. Trust issues are no excuse for constantly being on his back.The both of you should end things and move on. You should take the time and br single for a while to get your own life I'm order because problems with trust don't work for any kind of relationship
0sem0
 
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Re: I don’t know what to do

Postby LittleLady2000 » Thu Dec 20, 2018 12:10 am

I have backed off.
It’s gotten to the point where we literally only text. Nothing more. And half the time now we don’t even do that.
We’ve both tried hanging out with eachother but things keep getting in the way.
Neither of us want or try being on the phone anymore.
He has issues with my family now and I have some issues with certain people in his.
We’ve tried taking breaks but something always makes us come back to eachother even if we block eachother.
It’s like neither of us want to be together but we do at the same time
It’s so confusing
LittleLady2000
 
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Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:33 pm

Re: I don’t know what to do

Postby FriendlyNorthernGal » Thu Dec 20, 2018 3:21 am

You can’t have a relationship without trust. It also sounds like he’s got no respect for you.
You need to walk away and not care what he’s doing. One day a man will make you feel loved and special and you’ll realize how much time and energy you wasted on this one.
It sounds like you care about him more like a friend or family and not a boyfriend
FriendlyNorthernGal
 
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Re: I don’t know what to do

Postby brownskin darkie » Thu Dec 20, 2018 12:12 pm

Everyone will come and say leave but it is not that easy for u is it but the relationship is toxic and wont work no matter how u want it because he dont want it take your time find yourslef and it will get easier to let go but love yourslef first hun before you love any man
brownskin darkie
 
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Re: I don’t know what to do

Postby BeeMartin » Thu Dec 20, 2018 4:19 pm

I know everyone else is saying this but yeah the relationship sounds really toxic for both of you. You should really end it for good, work on being happy by yourself before trying to be happy with someone else. One day you'll have someone who makes you forget all about this awful relationship. End it before you do have kids and get ties.
BeeMartin
 
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