How do I cope...

Try to conceive, I really want a baby!

How do I cope...

Postby Kitty354 » Mon May 10, 2021 4:04 pm

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I, after a very long discussion decided to start trying for a baby. It’s something I’ve felt strongly about for so many years and I felt so unbelievably happy. We started as of last night but this afternoon, I asked him how he was feeling. He then dropped the bomb on me that he isn’t ready. I honestly feel like I’ve been punched in the gut and am absolutely devastated. How do I cope with this?
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Re: How do I cope...

Postby Mrs Mikky » Mon May 10, 2021 6:10 pm

Just relax and find a better time to talk to him, remember to not put him under pressure
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Re: How do I cope...

Postby 786girl » Mon May 10, 2021 8:14 pm

Tell him he will honestly NEVER be ready until the baby arrives. No one ever really is
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Re: How do I cope...

Postby DoteeAnna » Tue May 11, 2021 3:20 pm

I feel you girl
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Re: How do I cope...

Postby Wendyanne61 » Thu May 13, 2021 11:14 pm

You could also remind him you two might have trouble trying to concieve and dont know it. In that case you might be wasting precious time as it could years to finally concieve. Most people who have difficulties TTC regret waiting so long.
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Re: How do I cope...

Postby Kamalama » Fri May 14, 2021 6:42 am

Wendyanne61 wrote:You could also remind him you two might have trouble trying to concieve and dont know it. In that case you might be wasting precious time as it could years to finally concieve. Most people who have difficulties TTC regret waiting so long.
I disagree with that tactic...that's like emotional bribery trying to get him to do something he isn't ready for. Sorry but If he's not ready he's not ready and that needs to be respected. She wouldn't want him feeling resentment in years to come likewise she may resent him. That's a sit down conversation with all factors taken into account such as length of time you guys have been together, age , stages in life etc so unless we know all of those things then the advice is vague. My friend was with someone for 12 years no longer together and she never felt ready, she admitted when they split up she was just never ready with him.. he was a few years older and is now childless in his 40s and blames her for wasted years... So you see op you need to have an honest discussion and see where you are at and find out the absolute real reason...
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Re: How do I cope...

Postby Allie88 » Fri May 14, 2021 9:37 am

I think you guys need to have different conversation - more about your relationship and what you want in life and at what point and whether it is really with one another. Ive watched a couple be together for 13 years, get married get a house and split shortly after because he never wanted kids - with her. And she is mid 30's and feels shes wasted her life on something she thought that worked but clearly didnt.

Theres never a perfect time to have kids, theres never a true feeling of being ready - however there is such a thing as wrong person, wrong time, wrong relationship stage.

Apart from all that you might want to talk through the fears and uncertainties. What is it that freaks the crap out of him?
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Re: How do I cope...

Postby Kbhrose » Sun May 23, 2021 2:32 pm

My husband and I have been married for 12years together for 15 years and still trying, we visited our doctor who says either of us doesn't have any issues. I started taking conception tabs last month hopefully it'll help us get a positive 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
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Re: How do I cope...

Postby Monzb08 » Mon May 24, 2021 1:54 pm

Allie88 wrote:I think you guys need to have different conversation - more about your relationship and what you want in life and at what point and whether it is really with one another. Ive watched a couple be together for 13 years, get married get a house and split shortly after because he never wanted kids - with her. And she is mid 30's and feels shes wasted her life on something she thought that worked but clearly didnt.

Theres never a perfect time to have kids, theres never a true feeling of being ready - however there is such a thing as wrong person, wrong time, wrong relationship stage.

Apart from all that you might want to talk through the fears and uncertainties. What is it that freaks the crap out of him?



I agree with this 100%. Also, you need to know where you stand and how you feel about that and if it is a relationship you really want to continue to be in. Because instead as time goes on it gets harder. And, being in a relationship where this is just getting put up there will still be resentment if you are to find out it’s too late.

You guys need to sit down and have a more serious conversation.

He owes it to you to let you know when he will be ready and you need to know how long you are able to wait and when it’s too long and so on
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