What should I say/do

What should I say/do

Postby Lover23 » Fri Mar 05, 2021 3:11 am

Hi So I'm 15,16 in june, where I live in oregon we are trying to open schools up and we just started forcasting at my highschool I'm a sophomore and I'm going to a junior next year and I was really really hopeing to spend junior year meeting new people,its prolly why I'm still alive or even living with my parents,but maybe get a bf but my dad is immune suppressed so if he got covid he would die,so this year I sacrificed everything to stay home I didnt really have a choice but when I was discussing forcasting with my parents they said I'm not returning to school at all next year, I'll be part of something called flex and right now I'm not part of it rn but my two bsf are and they say the workload is huge, so I dont want to do this so I went to tell my mom I dont agree with her and I dont think its fair, if I go to my dad he'll most likely tell me to shut up and leave him alone, so I said to my mom "I thought we werent decided on what school I was doing" she said "we're not as of right now but so far this is what your gonna do" and I said " but I dont want to do that all my friends say the workload is alot and it's not helpful at all" and my voice was starting to rise so she said " ok u need to calm down and watch how ur talking to me" and I said "ok well I dont even think your considering what I want" and she said " IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU WANT" (which hurt) then she went on to say that we all made this sacrifice to be home for my dad but I didn't have a choice, I never do hes my step dad and treats me like sh*t (they keep my real dad a secret so I'm not supposed to know hes my stepdad btw) hes always finding a way to get me in trouble for something and I'm always doing what they want, I hangout with people they like, they manipulate me into doing what they want sometimes, I did cheer when then wanted me to, fell in love with it then when they pulled me from it last year I said nothing, I have been silent my whole life and I'm so fed up I wanna say something now but I'm not sure what to say or how to put it, they have never cared what I think and when I try to tell them I get grounded, my mental health is also terrible b.c of how they have treated me, so please if u have any advice on what I should say or do I would greatly appreciate it :)
Lover23
 
Posts: 67
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2021 12:47 am

Re: What should I say/do

Postby MV2020 » Thu Mar 11, 2021 4:30 am

I have also made sacrifices because my mom has asthma but it’s lot like she will die but she might get really sick. So I did all this year online and hopefully if I get vaccines and get to go next year but everyone has to make sacrifices for your family but I’m only 13 what would i know?
Other people please help this girl
User avatar
MV2020
 
Posts: 209
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2020 5:37 am
Location: Nope

Re: What should I say/do

Postby Lou30 » Thu Mar 11, 2021 5:49 am

Dam
Lou30
 
Posts: 1878
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2021 6:24 am

Re: What should I say/do

Postby MixedCouple » Wed Mar 17, 2021 9:02 am

Hiya seen your post elsewhere.
Unfortunately we don't get to pick our families. But they are family even if not the best.
I would address the stepdad/dad thing with your mother alone in a mature manner. Like be an adult when you talk to her about it. Screaming and crying etc will not be productive what's so ever. So only you know of you wre emotionally mature to have that conversation in a civil manner.

The sacrifices yeah it sucks - but sorry to be cliche but don't think ita only you. Or why me!. There are millions of kids in America and I'm 3rd world countries who have to pull up their socks and get on with life and make sacrifices. Just how life is. It's as they sauly the cards you were dealt in life. It do want mean it will alqays be that way. It means for a few years your life won't be great putting your parents needs before yours for the greater good. You will grow up and see life differently and this won't seem like the end of the world to you and seem insignificant.
I know countless stories of girls who were forced out of school at 15/16 to work and had to grow up before their age. It sucked but their life turnes around for them later on. That's life it continuously goes from up and down and the thing you will remember is how you dealt with it and your actions. You can't control the actions of others.

I hope this helps and puts some perspective not all doom and gloom but being real about life. It sucks and we have to make the most of it and make it work.
MixedCouple
 
Posts: 1967
Joined: Tue Jan 26, 2021 10:29 pm
Location: United Kingdom

Re: What should I say/do

Postby Selenelion » Wed Mar 17, 2021 11:42 am

Just because it is this way for many doesn't mean it isn't unfair. People are allowed to complain about their lives even when others have it just as bad/worse. This really sucks for us kids.
Selenelion
 
Posts: 4553
Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2020 6:22 pm
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow

Re: What should I say/do

Postby Lover23 » Wed Mar 17, 2021 3:01 pm

Selenelion wrote:Just because it is this way for many doesn't mean it isn't unfair. People are allowed to complain about their lives even when others have it just as bad/worse. This really sucks for us kids.



I have to agree with u there it does suck but what she said gave me some perspective I'm sure I have it. Better then some and worse then others, but every time I try to ask my mom about my real dad she denies it and tells me to find something todo
Lover23
 
Posts: 67
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2021 12:47 am

Re: What should I say/do

Postby Selenelion » Wed Mar 17, 2021 5:59 pm

You deserve to know, I'd keep asking unless she becomes hostile.
Selenelion
 
Posts: 4553
Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2020 6:22 pm
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow

Re: What should I say/do

Postby Lou30 » Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:34 am

MixedCouple wrote:Hiya seen your post elsewhere.
Unfortunately we don't get to pick our families. But they are family even if not the best.
I would address the stepdad/dad thing with your mother alone in a mature manner. Like be an adult when you talk to her about it. Screaming and crying etc will not be productive what's so ever. So only you know of you wre emotionally mature to have that conversation in a civil manner.

The sacrifices yeah it sucks - but sorry to be cliche but don't think ita only you. Or why me!. There are millions of kids in America and I'm 3rd world countries who have to pull up their socks and get on with life and make sacrifices. Just how life is. It's as they sauly the cards you were dealt in life. It do want mean it will alqays be that way. It means for a few years your life won't be great putting your parents needs before yours for the greater good. You will grow up and see life differently and this won't seem like the end of the world to you and seem insignificant.
I know countless stories of girls who were forced out of school at 15/16 to work and had to grow up before their age. It sucked but their life turnes around for them later on. That's life it continuously goes from up and down and the thing you will remember is how you dealt with it and your actions. You can't control the actions of others.

I hope this helps and puts some perspective not all doom and gloom but being real about life. It sucks and we have to make the most of it and make it work.

I agree
Lou30
 
Posts: 1878
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2021 6:24 am

Re: What should I say/do

Postby Lover23 » Mon Mar 22, 2021 4:37 am

I also read a text that my mom sent my dad just the other day talking about coparenting and she sent him a picture of me, I'm wondering why she hasn't told me yet it's starting to annoy me
Lover23
 
Posts: 67
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2021 12:47 am

Re: What should I say/do

Postby Lou30 » Mon Mar 22, 2021 5:29 am

Lover23 wrote:I also read a text that my mom sent my dad just the other day talking about coparenting and she sent him a picture of me, I'm wondering why she hasn't told me yet it's starting to annoy me

She's probably doing it to protect u or she just isn't ready yet she will do it all in time and in her own time
Lou30
 
Posts: 1878
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2021 6:24 am

Next

Return to Relationship with Parents

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest