Is this abuse?

Is this abuse?

Postby Rachel_2020 » Fri Dec 04, 2020 3:21 am

So according to Selenelion I have been verbally and physically abused. I’m not saying I don’t believe her but still felt like asking. I don’t think it’s anything serious so I’m just gonna write on here what’s going on so I have someone to talk to cuz I’m not able to contact my bestie. Anyways my parents are GREAT. They are really nice and work hard to make sure their is a roof over our heads, but when it comes to them getting mad it’s a whole new story. My dad sometimes hits me and my brother (more me) and it’ll leave a red mark for 2-3 days and hurt the rest of the day. He always does it on my thigh and I’m not allowed to wear shorts so no one sees it. Once I woke up my brother by sprinkling water on him because he wouldn’t get up, he got mad and told my dad. I told my dad how he regularly does that to wake us up and I don’t understand what I did wrong. He got mad and said “how would you like it if I did it to you) and poured his cold water on me and I had to go change because school was starting. After changing I had to wipe the floor from the water HE spilled and then he got mad that I was late. Another time he hit my brother in the chest because he was still playing the video game when he said to stop, he didn’t even think about how my brother just came out of the hospital after having heart issues. My mom got mad and made him apologize. That was all the physical part I remember (for some reason I usually doesn’t remember when ppl do bad things to me, I just remember not to trust them). Here’s the verbal part, bothe my parents call me things saying “Your so selfish” “Your like a demon” “You are acting so ugly” (idk what that means but it hurts) “What are you stupid?” “You are ungrateful” (they like never say thank you when I help them) and “Your mean” (that’s when my brother gets mad at me). Not only do they say stuff and call me names but my brother says that I’m the worst sister and it’s my fault he’s sick. I also have a lot of responsibility from my brother. I got in trouble because he spilled water (I wasn’t even home!) I get in trouble for his misdeeds because I’m supposed to be responsible for him even when I’m not at the same place as him. Almost everything is blamed on me and it’s so annoying. Anytime I cry or get upset in public because of something my parents did they say to stop otherwise I’ll be taken away from them, to me that’s just more proof what their doing is wrong. If I was just misbehaving and they gave a reasonable punishment then why would they be so worried from other parents opinions? Anyways anytime they get mad I tense up because I’m afraid of them hitting me. I’ve made my own “exercises” of tricks not to cry because to me crying is a sign of weakness it shows you are afraid and care what they say. I’m gonna go now cuz I need to sleep and my parents can view my screen so idk if their watching me now. Ttyl ✌️ 😅
That’s all ✌️
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Re: Is this abuse?

Postby Rachel_2020 » Fri Dec 04, 2020 3:33 am

I also forgot to mention that as a younger kid they would spank me and make me take freezing cold showers in my clothes. And now they say that if I don’t stop my chewing problem they will make me eat a spoonful of really hot cayenne pepper (they did that to my bro and he through up all over the bed)
That’s all ✌️
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Re: Is this abuse?

Postby Selenelion » Fri Dec 04, 2020 4:48 am

Yeah that's abuse. I mean you know I know that. But...yeah. same with my mom. I get new clothes, shoes, vacations. But I do something wrong and all hell breaks loose.
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Re: Is this abuse?

Postby Wolves2018 » Fri Dec 04, 2020 5:00 am

Sadly this is abuse and there is no doubt about it.
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Re: Is this abuse?

Postby Laurenieeeeee » Fri Dec 04, 2020 6:34 am

Yes, this is clearly abuse.
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Re: Is this abuse?

Postby Rachel_2020 » Fri Dec 04, 2020 9:33 am

So what do I do? I love them both so much and don’t want to be taken away. Even if I did I have no proof because they haven’t gotten that mad recently because my brother being in the hospital stressed them out. I can’t really tell my friends because I don’t see them because each of them has been exposed to ppl with COVID and my parents have controls on the phone so I can’t message them without my dad and mom seeing and I can’t delete messages. I can’t call them because my parents are like around 24/7 and when they aren’t my brother is and I don’t want to talk about it in front of him because he went to the hospital from trauma and abuse at school. So ya what do I do?
That’s all ✌️
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Re: Is this abuse?

Postby Selenelion » Fri Dec 04, 2020 10:22 am

Well you could tell CPS.


I told my pyschiatrist and she told CPS. CPS showed up, my bro took my mom's side, my mom basically used the fact that I had done horrible things to justify multiple unrelated incidents of abuse (from what I assume, we like never bring up that day). And they believed her. Which made me very angry, I did everything I could to make her seem like a good mom who just does some bad stuff. I talked about how I don't want to be removed, just like some classes instead for her to take. When she asked if I was neglected I told her all the wonderful things my mom does for me. I said how I love her very much. So if you tell CPS. Be prepared. They might do what my mom did where she took my bad behavior (because of the abuse and mental illness) and used it to justify her behavior. If you do report talk to your bro first does he know he's being abused? Mine is in denial.

If you do be prepared. Videotape/record an incident if you can. Take notes so your remember what to bring up and get your brother on your side.

Unless they are like actively threatening to kill you they won't remove you from the home.
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Re: Is this abuse?

Postby Rachel_2020 » Fri Dec 04, 2020 10:28 am

Selenelion wrote:Well you could tell CPS.


I told my pyschiatrist and she told CPS. CPS showed up, my bro took my mom's side, my mom basically used the fact that I had done horrible things to justify multiple unrelated incidents of abuse (from what I assume, we like never bring up that day). And they believed her. Which made me very angry, I did everything I could to make her seem like a good mom who just does some bad stuff. I talked about how I don't want to be removed, just like some classes instead for her to take. When she asked if I was neglected I told her all the wonderful things my mom does for me. I said how I love her very much. So if you tell CPS. Be prepared. They might do what my mom did where she took my bad behavior (because of the abuse and mental illness) and used it to justify her behavior. If you do report talk to your bro first does he know he's being abused? Mine is in denial.

If you do be prepared. Videotape/record an incident if you can. Take notes so your remember what to bring up and get your brother on your side.

Unless they are like actively threatening to kill you they won't remove you from the home.


Ok I wasn’t sure cuz my parents are always saying how I’ll be taken away if ppl think they are bad parents.
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Re: Is this abuse?

Postby Kinzeepooh » Fri Dec 04, 2020 11:32 am

One time I snuck soda and I was a little kid my mom made me drink the whole litter of soda I was soo full and it wasn’t funny my stomach was Hurting that day and my belly looked like I was 8weeks preg :(and my mom hit me in my eye when I was small and spank me with a charger 🔌
:(
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Re: Is this abuse?

Postby Allie88 » Fri Dec 04, 2020 12:09 pm

Rachel_2020 wrote:So what do I do? I love them both so much and don’t want to be taken away. Even if I did I have no proof because they haven’t gotten that mad recently because my brother being in the hospital stressed them out. I can’t really tell my friends because I don’t see them because each of them has been exposed to ppl with COVID and my parents have controls on the phone so I can’t message them without my dad and mom seeing and I can’t delete messages. I can’t call them because my parents are like around 24/7 and when they aren’t my brother is and I don’t want to talk about it in front of him because he went to the hospital from trauma and abuse at school. So ya what do I do?


Im gonna be the devils advocate here.

If you don't want your home life to change, then whats the point of this post. If you think you should to something but you dont want to - why bother?

Is it so bad that you can't live through becoming an adult in the house? Is it so bad that you are in actual danger? Ask yourself these questions.

No family is perfect, everyone got their flaws, but if you have a safe place to sleep, go to school, be fed and all they are being are bullies once in a while - those things you can partially handle yourself. By growing up and eventually moving out.

Like, what are you trying to accomplish, what are you trying to change in your life? Think about that. If you want them to be nicer to you, your first step is trying to have a heart to heart with your parents that you feel bullied and emotionally neglected and you wish they paid more attention to you, loved you more and helped you become a better person instead of putting you down. There's no fairy god mother that will wave a wand and make things perfect.

Harsh reality, but why rock the boat if you are not in mortal danger in a home you live in? Going into foster care because you are too sensitive? I think you're just as immature as your brother, you both sound like brats and need to grow up. Why would you sprinkle water on a sleeping person? You might have thought its funny..but there that was what you got for doing what you did. Its immature - your dad sounds just as immature. When you got punished for spilled water when you weren't even home - was the actual issue that you went out and not stayed home?

You're not telling the whole story here. What are you getting punished for? Why are they saying you're ungrateful? Are you acting rebellious? Do you talk back? Do you get defensive, make excuses? DO you do enough chores around your house? Do you tell lies? What is it that you're doing or not doing? If you're an exemplary kid that does everything and always acts nice - yes this is hands down abuse, but if not, it could be your parents poor and ill advised attempt at parenting - based on how they were parented themselves.

My husbands sister was tossed into a cold shower once as a kid - she threw such a tantrum and was in full hysteria for several hours because she wasn't gonna get what she wanted. She was walking around screaming, banging on stuff and just yelling - she was 5. So she was tossed in. It sorted that issue immediately, just not the spoiled brat part. But at least she stopped tossing hysterical tantrums since.
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