Many BF issues- s*x, communication & pain

Relationship with your partner

Many BF issues- s*x, communication & pain

Postby AnnieLove1234 » Fri May 07, 2021 9:45 am

As of recently things have been very rocky, so im in a LDR. In the first two years , he is perfect! But i feel the more we are together the more he shows his true colours? .

So I joined this app because i have no one to consult. I really need to figure it out.

Yesterday, I really wanted s*x. Unfortunately he was at his aunt's house. However he helped me c*m regardless . But when I asked him if he did c*m. He said he did, in the bathroom and after I showered, I asked him again because I felt like he didn't , I didn't feel the usual connection with him and he said no ( so he lied) and I got angry at him for saying yes. His excuse was " he didn't want to ruin my mood and he just wanted me to enjoy masturbating". He also told me its very rude of me to tell him that he is lying. Its disrespectful

Later that night, I was exhausted. Super tired. I was forcing myself to stay awake because through the day as of recently ( because of his religious holiday) his sleeping has been changed. So while I was talking to him I couldn't open my eyes and my fingers accidentally added a letter to a word, which make made it sound like i was saying " go away" . He got very angry and told me to " f**k off" . At that point I feel asleep, 30mins later I wokeup and read his messages. I told him that I didn't mean to say that I fell asleep. He thought I was just saying that to cover up for myself. He continued to tell me to shut up , to stop, and to sleep. I started to cry. I don't know why he got mad, im still confused. I am still very hurt about it because 3 messages above it I was saying " i am very bored and tired, i am just going to sleep, I have work anyway , goodnight " obviously all of that spelled incorrectly because i was half asleep.

15mins after he was super rude for no reason, he realized it was an actual typo, so he texted me " its okay , its just a misunderstanding " no apology, after i was so hurt , crying out of confusion. When I told him that, he got angry and started to tell me "when i say don't want to talk about it , just stop, be quite and sleep". He told me i ruined his weekend, right after he noticed it was a typo, he was super aggressive. Keep in mind i only spoke to him yesterday that one hour that he helped me.


I feel super hurt, i fell asleep crying. I wokeup and my heart was hurting very bad, I have not been enjoying anything. He says nice words all the time.
But I cannot help but to notice when he is just telling me things because it makes me happy. I feel like im not allowed to express when im sad anymore. When i try to tell him he says im being to sensitive and i need to relax.

Everytime we argue he blames it all on me. I am fed up and tired, i asked him that i need some space and it would be best if i stay away until his religious holidays are over, ( 15 more days) he said if this is "how you are going to be don't talk to me until the holiday after this one. ( which is in the next 4 months).

Please girls let me what to do? Im i being too dramatic ? Im like writing this post and my heart is aching. All i ever wanted was get married, have a small family and kids of my own. Is this too much to ask for?
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Re: Many BF issues- s*x, communication & pain

Postby Hanni108 » Fri May 07, 2021 10:43 am

Girl, we all said this before on your previous topic. This relationship doesn't sound like it is going anywhere, and it is very suss all around. Everything you have said in this latest post just confirms it.

Lot of the other ladies said on the other post it sounds like he is very good at just saying all the sweet nice things to keep you happy and sticking around...and noe this is exactly what you say yourself is what it sounds like!!

What he's said to you recently is not respectful. It is not loving. It's not understanding. You said it yourself, he's starting to show his true colours and perhaps he's worried that you're starting to catch on to him after you confessed your fears the other day, and now he thinks it's not worth so much trouble to lay on the honey anymore.

Sorry to say it, but it does not sound like a man who loves you so much he is going to come marry you even without ever meeting you. The brutal truth is that to me it sounds like you're stuck in a comfortable rut and can't gather the will power to move on. You know the truth yourself. You've said it yourself right here. But you keep making excuses to justify keeping things the same. You tell us and yourself when you feel better, "oh he's loving and perfect, just a misunderstanding and I'm overdramatic". But unless you're lying about the facts of what happened, the real lie is the last part where you justify his actions and buy in the blame he's put onto you. No you're not overdramatic. But you ARE deluding yourself. You know this. You just need to listen to yourself and stop closing your eyes to it.

He sounds very patriarchial. The warnings from the other ladies come to mind here - if he's already willing to talk to you like this over distance what will he do in person and woth even more time? You need to keep in mind his culture and the views of the society he grew up in. This is not to judge, it is simply being realistic and not looking blindly through rose glasses... Can you really fit into his ideal of a 'good wife'?

There were red flags before. There's even more now. But only you can listen to them and act on it.

I stick with my previous advice, which was you should be seriously reconsidering your relationship. My advice now, I'll go further and say you should move on. You've already wasted so many years on a relationship where you've never even been able to meet each other once, after years and years! He's no longer even respectful. If all you want to ask for is to get married and have children and loving life, I'd suggest you look closer to home. Or at least for someone who will get his act together and come to you.
Last edited by Hanni108 on Fri May 07, 2021 10:49 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Many BF issues- s*x, communication & pain

Postby MixedCouple » Fri May 07, 2021 10:48 am

Clash of cultures and religions and I assume Arab? There was already someone posting something similar LDR with an Arab and I will tell you the same thing I told her. Just don't bother. Find a relationship in your own country and someone who are compatible with.
None of this sounds normal or healthy.

If I had that kinda relationship with hubby before marriage I would of walked away.
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Re: Many BF issues- s*x, communication & pain

Postby Allie88 » Fri May 07, 2021 10:56 am

You said all this and more and then you call this relationship "perfect" and him being "perfect"...girl wheres your standards?

Like holy crap, your bs tolerance meter is off the charts!!!! Do you even know a definition for a healthy relationship? This is toxic. Fulls stop. Anybody can say "nice words" when it suits them its the actions that should matter and actions boy are there plenty.
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Re: Many BF issues- s*x, communication & pain

Postby AnnieLove1234 » Fri May 07, 2021 1:28 pm

Thank you ladies!

I need some space and he is not giving me space. I told him we got a problem and he is not taking it seriously. I told him my heart been growing a gap for him, he thinks im too serious about our relationship. It did not sink well for him. He thinks i will never leave but to be honest my heart doesn't feel the same. Im being patient, i have never disrespected him or swore at him like he does at me. I was very understanding to his emotions but he was never. Now when he says those random lies just because i want something is bothering me 10X.

I need space, to really think.
should i just turn my phone off or ignore him?


Im fed up
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Re: Many BF issues- s*x, communication & pain

Postby RidetheWind » Fri May 07, 2021 1:35 pm

Time to bail!!!
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Re: Many BF issues- s*x, communication & pain

Postby Allie88 » Fri May 07, 2021 6:53 pm

AnnieLove1234 wrote:Thank you ladies!

I need some space and he is not giving me space. I told him we got a problem and he is not taking it seriously. I told him my heart been growing a gap for him, he thinks im too serious about our relationship. It did not sink well for him. He thinks i will never leave but to be honest my heart doesn't feel the same. Im being patient, i have never disrespected him or swore at him like he does at me. I was very understanding to his emotions but he was never. Now when he says those random lies just because i want something is bothering me 10X.

I need space, to really think.
should i just turn my phone off or ignore him?


Im fed up


So put all that in the context with everything else - you got "serious" relationship and then he tells you you are taking this relationship too "seriously" soooo which one is it. Girl, like i said, this is toxic and this is not an acceptable way to be treated. You cannot be a call girl just to be there whenever he needs and wants - it should be both ways; but apparently its not. This - multiply it x10 = thats what all these little red flags will be later when things get more "serious"...
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Re: Many BF issues- s*x, communication & pain

Postby Namaga » Fri May 07, 2021 7:29 pm

AnnieLove1234 wrote:Thank you ladies!

I need some space and he is not giving me space. I told him we got a problem and he is not taking it seriously. I told him my heart been growing a gap for him, he thinks im too serious about our relationship. It did not sink well for him. He thinks i will never leave but to be honest my heart doesn't feel the same. Im being patient, i have never disrespected him or swore at him like he does at me. I was very understanding to his emotions but he was never. Now when he says those random lies just because i want something is bothering me 10X.

I need space, to really think.
should i just turn my phone off or ignore him?


Im fed up

I hope this time you are serious with your decision because girl "1 day your saying your bf is not answering his phone/giving you attention, the following day your backing him up saying everything is good and your in love etc and now you are fed up"

Leave the guy, break up with him and move on.. it's not like you'll meet after the breakup or he will come and confront you at your place its LDR anyway... dont let him manipulate you into being in a toxic relationship that will only waste your time... 3 years is a long time to waste on such kind of a man... you'll find a man in your own country or near you who will love and respect you....
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Re: Many BF issues- s*x, communication & pain

Postby Namaga » Fri May 07, 2021 7:31 pm

MixedCouple wrote:Clash of cultures and religions and I assume Arab? There was already someone posting something similar LDR with an Arab and I will tell you the same thing I told her. Just don't bother. Find a relationship in your own country and someone who are compatible with.
None of this sounds normal or healthy.

If I had that kinda relationship with hubby before marriage I would of walked away.

She is the same person with two different posts about the same guy☹
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Re: Many BF issues- s*x, communication & pain

Postby Hanni108 » Fri May 07, 2021 9:34 pm

AnnieLove1234 wrote:Thank you ladies!

I need some space and he is not giving me space. I told him we got a problem and he is not taking it seriously. I told him my heart been growing a gap for him, he thinks im too serious about our relationship. It did not sink well for him. He thinks i will never leave but to be honest my heart doesn't feel the same. Im being patient, i have never disrespected him or swore at him like he does at me. I was very understanding to his emotions but he was never. Now when he says those random lies just because i want something is bothering me 10X.

I need space, to really think.
should i just turn my phone off or ignore him?


Im fed up


How are you taking the relationship "too seriously" when he's the one who proposed to you after 3 months? None of this makes sense. Ignore him, turn off your phone if you need to. Clear your head. Leave him. Mourn. Move on.
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