forcing me to date him

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forcing me to date him

Postby AnnieLove1234 » Tue May 04, 2021 10:46 am

So i know this guy from work, and there is this time where I mentioned infront of him that I fought with my Bf and we left each other for sometime.

So he assumed that we are done , so he asked me out on a date. I made sure to tell him "no I am not interested in you", even if I wasn't with my bf, I would never date him.
I made sure to tell him I don't have feelings for him, and he kept insisting that im just going through a period of time and i will leave my bf. So I should just date him.
He wants me to give him my phone number forcefully, he said I can keep our work aside and get to know each other more. I told him you know enough about me.

Should i just block him? Right now we are working through sky-pe He is starting to really bother me and make me uncomfortable. But I worry if he will report me to work and do a false calm as part of our employment rules that we can't date each other.

Keep in mind , i love my bf to death and we are really working on meeting each other since it has been LDR. I can't wait for that moment!!!
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Re: forcing me to date him

Postby Ever-ely » Tue May 04, 2021 11:28 am

This is harassment and totally unacceptable in a workplace. I’d be asking him to stop, taking copies of the messages and warning him that he needs to stop or you’ll report him to your HR department or manager.
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Re: forcing me to date him

Postby GloryS » Tue May 04, 2021 11:29 am

You report him. He bothers you and doesn't get the word "NO". Don't wait until he does some shit.
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Re: forcing me to date him

Postby AnnieLove1234 » Tue May 04, 2021 11:48 am

Ever-ely wrote:This is harassment and totally unacceptable in a workplace. I’d be asking him to stop, taking copies of the messages and warning him that he needs to stop or you’ll report him to your HR department or manager.


But for the time being should I ignore him? Would you say that i should tell my bf about him? Or should i just hide it? And deal with it by myself?
I will report him actually because this is making me very uncomfortable and he has to leave me alone
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Re: forcing me to date him

Postby AnnieLove1234 » Tue May 04, 2021 11:52 am

GloryS wrote:You report him. He bothers you and doesn't get the word "NO". Don't wait until he does some shit.


He keeps saying he wants to be friends, no matter how many times I say i am just doing my job when i talk to you and that's my boundaries.
I can't be friends with someone who has feelings for me, I don't see it as working even as a friendship and i am respecting my own feelings and my bf's. I am sure he wouldn't like it.

I am super scared and worried.
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Re: forcing me to date him

Postby Namaga » Tue May 04, 2021 11:56 am

AnnieLove1234 wrote:
Ever-ely wrote:This is harassment and totally unacceptable in a workplace. I’d be asking him to stop, taking copies of the messages and warning him that he needs to stop or you’ll report him to your HR department or manager.


But for the time being should I ignore him? Would you say that i should tell my bf about him? Or should i just hide it? And deal with it by myself?
I will report him actually because this is making me very uncomfortable and he has to leave me alone

Tell your Bf and report the guy as soon as possible because if you wait long he will manipulate you and you'll end up being the villain.. who does that? Forcing you to date him, he is capable of raping you as well stay woke!
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Re: forcing me to date him

Postby AnnieLove1234 » Tue May 04, 2021 12:18 pm

Namaga wrote:
AnnieLove1234 wrote:
Ever-ely wrote:This is harassment and totally unacceptable in a workplace. I’d be asking him to stop, taking copies of the messages and warning him that he needs to stop or you’ll report him to your HR department or manager.


But for the time being should I ignore him? Would you say that i should tell my bf about him? Or should i just hide it? And deal with it by myself?
I will report him actually because this is making me very uncomfortable and he has to leave me alone

Tell your Bf and report the guy as soon as possible because if you wait long he will manipulate you and you'll end up being the villain.. who does that? Forcing you to date him, he is capable of raping you as well stay woke!


Now you say it, "raping you". That's why he wanted me to go over badly before asking me out. I feel sick to my stomach...What an asshole, im starting to get sick of my own job because of him.

My bf has perviously mentioned that he is suspecting something very strange. So my bf had a feeling a long tome ago that this man was hitting on me but im an idiot and I don't catch hints. He told me to keep boundaries with him, But now if I tell him about the dating thing. I know he will not get mad at me because he understands but i worry that my bf would ask for his skype to fight him or something because he did before ask and I said i will deal with it.
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Re: forcing me to date him

Postby Allie88 » Tue May 04, 2021 2:12 pm

This is workplace sexual harassment indeed, but lets not go further and making up what its not currently. Aka rape. Guys wtf - lets stay on topic.

Assuming you work for a decent place and have HR perhaps its time to note that with HR that a staff member is making advances where they aren't welcome, that you aren't comfortable saying who it is but you would really appreciate if HR could send out a mail reminder to all staff about appropriate workplace conduct. If that continues, you go back to HR and say his name.

Option one ofc should be that you make it as clear as day that his advances ARE NOT welcome and this is making you uncomfortable and that if he continues pushing the boundaries you WILL go to human resources.

Learn how to draw a line, no wishy washy crap, no guilt, no "feeling bad" because some asshole is making you uncomfortable in a WORKPLACE!!!!

Also, make sure you document this all and have it in writing, in any case if they dont take it seriously, you can sue shit out of them for that in most developed countries. Hopefully it wont go there. But ensure you got everything in writing always.
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Re: forcing me to date him

Postby Hanni108 » Wed May 05, 2021 12:57 am

Allie88 wrote:This is workplace sexual harassment indeed, but lets not go further and making up what its not currently. Aka rape. Guys wtf - lets stay on topic.

Assuming you work for a decent place and have HR perhaps its time to note that with HR that a staff member is making advances where they aren't welcome, that you aren't comfortable saying who it is but you would really appreciate if HR could send out a mail reminder to all staff about appropriate workplace conduct. If that continues, you go back to HR and say his name.

Option one ofc should be that you make it as clear as day that his advances ARE NOT welcome and this is making you uncomfortable and that if he continues pushing the boundaries you WILL go to human resources.

Learn how to draw a line, no wishy washy crap, no guilt, no "feeling bad" because some asshole is making you uncomfortable in a WORKPLACE!!!!

Also, make sure you document this all and have it in writing, in any case if they dont take it seriously, you can sue shit out of them for that in most developed countries. Hopefully it wont go there. But ensure you got everything in writing always.


👏👏

Just continue ignoring the guy's overtures, ignore him as much as possible except for work content.

Asap contact your human respurces people. All workplaces should have a harrassment reporting avenue. Find out what it is as soon as you can and report him. Keep whatever written evidence you have. Tell your manager or HR person you are uncomfortable working with him because of this.

No need to over think. Just do it. Don't give his details to your boyfriend. This is a work issue. Your boyfriend should not have access to your work files or contacts. Just reassure your boyfriend you reported him.

Just do it quickly before he has the chance to turn it back around and try to pin it on you. The more you delay the more aggravted he will get and then he will try get back at you.
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Re: forcing me to date him

Postby MixedCouple » Wed May 05, 2021 10:35 am

As the last 2 ladies said. HR and Manager keep evidence and be factual and also explain how uncomfortable you are continuing to work with him.
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