Page 1 of 1

My husband’s soon to be mistress

PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2021 3:14 pm
by BlackGRocks
Hey guys, so my husband and I have been married for 9yrs this year. We have a 3yr old and a 5 months old twins. We’ve had our ups and down and on my part it was my communication with my ex, whom I see as my emotional support friend. For example, when I was pregnant with the twins it was a complicated pregnancy and my husband and I didn’t speak throughout the whole pregnancy, he never even once asked how I was doing. But my ex was there to push me through and motivated me to stay positive. We had an agreement that it’s strictly friends.
I know that’s messed up that I still talked to my ex, but honestly if it wasn’t for him my self esteem would have been on the ground. But we put an end to the communication months ago when my husband found out and life moved on (so I thought). Recently he met a woman on Instagram that shared all his work when he posts them, when I saw the message and confronted him he said “it’s nothing like that, she just supports me”.
Well the other night while I sat in the floor with the twins crying and I asked my husband to take one like he does most of the time, he said “no I’m going out”, and I said but they’re crying and he said “I don’t care” and took a shower got dressed and said he was going for some him time. I texted him saying our 3yr old is sick and not to stay long. He came home around 3am, after forcing him to admit where he was he was meeting up with her. They met up.

Re: My husband’s soon to be mistress

PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2021 3:16 pm
by BlackGRocks
He said she’s actually pregnant and her boyfriend is being and a*s, but he can drive 45min in the middle of the night to support someone meanwhile I’m here depressed, my mother is dying and when I told him I’m depressed he literally said there’s nothing he can do cause we don’t connect like that.
He tells her how beautiful she is, how nice her hair is, but in our 9yrs of marriage I cannot remember the last time he complimented me.

Re: My husband’s soon to be mistress

PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2021 3:58 pm
by Ordinaryme
First time, i'm so sorry to hear that. Many marriages had difficulty when they have some toddlers or babies. I don't know what men thinks about it, but many men find their "happiness" outside than at home with his wife and kids. For me it lacks of his responsibility.
Some wifes will talk to that woman to confront her. If she's a good person she will respect you and stay away from you husband.

About talking to your ex, do you talk by phone or meet face to face?
I think it not wise if you met him face to face. It could be the reason why your husband feels unwanted or unneeded.

I can feel your sadness and i really wish that you can find your happiness. You can try go out with your kids or make new friends, go to the salon, do a "me time" or any activities that make you happy.
When you happy with the kids, i wish your husband will realized his mistake and regret it.

Btw, i've been there. After my kids bigger, he becomes more responsible and a loving husband.

Wishes you the best...❤

Re: My husband’s soon to be mistress

PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2021 6:45 pm
by BlackGRocks
I don’t meet my ex face to face, we live in two diff states. I’ve tried to do some alone time but I cannot seem to get my mind off the situation. Plus he never said he is sorry, instead he said we’re technically not together so his personal choices shouldn't effect me.

Re: My husband’s soon to be mistress

PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2021 9:44 pm
by Namaga
BlackGRocks wrote:I don’t meet my ex face to face, we live in two diff states. I’ve tried to do some alone time but I cannot seem to get my mind off the situation. Plus he never said he is sorry, instead he said we’re technically not together so his personal choices shouldn't effect me.

You are technically not together? What does he mean by that? Are you guys just together because of the kids?

Re: My husband’s soon to be mistress

PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2021 11:44 pm
by BlackGRocks
Because of the fact that I communicated with my ex, he said we’re not together. We’re just in it for the kids, but then again he would mislead me and say he still loves me and we need to make it work. When I think we're good he pull out that “we’re just living together” card on me.

Re: My husband’s soon to be mistress

PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2021 6:20 am
by Cassandrefi
BlackGRocks wrote:Because of the fact that I communicated with my ex, he said we’re not together. We’re just in it for the kids, but then again he would mislead me and say he still loves me and we need to make it work. When I think we're good he pull out that “we’re just living together” card on me.


Pack your bags and leave. He can't say when he is in the mood you guys are good but when he finds someone interesting you are not. He is ruining completely your trust and secure and you are left with kids to "suffer" for your mistake when he is out loose.
Either you put your hand down and clear the situation or you just leaving. You are not a toy you are the mother of his children.
If he leaves again in the night when his kids need him pack his bags and left him out of the house and call your lawyer!

Re: My husband’s soon to be mistress

PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2021 8:46 am
by BlackGRocks
I feel stuck, and like you said I'm starting to feel low self esteem. I asked him if he can please not come on to me if he is not serious about giving us a try, and he said he is sorry about all the mean things he said he wants to work things out. And out of nowhere he did this, I honestly feel used and played. He did not say sorry because he said we each live our lives and he owes me nothing. I started therapy today, so let's see if I acquire the courage enough to leave.

Re: My husband’s soon to be mistress

PostPosted: Sun Apr 25, 2021 6:05 am
by Miim
BlackGRocks wrote:I feel stuck, and like you said I'm starting to feel low self esteem. I asked him if he can please not come on to me if he is not serious about giving us a try, and he said he is sorry about all the mean things he said he wants to work things out. And out of nowhere he did this, I honestly feel used and played. He did not say sorry because he said we each live our lives and he owes me nothing. I started therapy today, so let's see if I acquire the courage enough to leave.



I agree