Going through a breakup

Relationship with your partner

Going through a breakup

Postby AnnieLove1234 » Tue May 18, 2021 10:54 am

Things ended very badly.

We got in a very big fight, because i was trying to open up about my emotions. He thinks he is perfect and there is nothing wrong and I am always in the wrong

I was supposed to just accept whatever he thinks and does. Nor do I have an opinion

Im in pain my heart feels like its exploding but I know i had to leave.

What should i do to keep myself busy from thinking about him? I have anger in me and pain over the years I have spent hoping for something
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Re: Going through a breakup

Postby Nikki-silver » Tue May 18, 2021 10:58 am

I think you need go out with friends do some hobbies to keep you busy and if you feel like it’s still heavy on the heart maybe go to a therapist. Or call a friend to talk about it and some people say to get over someone you need to get under someone, I personally think don’t do that but yeah some people say it helps 🙈
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Re: Going through a breakup

Postby Allie88 » Tue May 18, 2021 11:41 am

Well, one, this garbage has wasted 3 years of your life so i would start there by not wasting another second or sparing a thought on garbage.

Have a think instead on what kind of relationship you do want, and what values you would never compromise for a relationship and maybe grow yourself towards that. Look up 1001 questions before getting married and really think what kind of partnership, marriage, family you would like to build. Read books, start hobbies. Widen your horisons.

Lastly try cognitive behaviour therapy and self development courses.
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Re: Going through a breakup

Postby Caligirl89 » Tue May 18, 2021 1:03 pm

This guy sounds like a real jerk. What has helped me in the past with break ups is talking with supportive people about it. Last year, I broke up with my now ex fiance. We broke up due to his mom. That is a long story but what I will say she is a narcissist and verbally abusive. I was with my ex fiance for almost 7 years and engaged for 6 years. I had to move back in with my mom and brother (my dad passed away in 2016 from cancer). I was living with my ex fiance and got kicked out. His mom came to live with us in 2018. My ex fiance lives not that far from my mom. After moving back in with my mom, I was talking about everything with my mom, brother, friends, and extended family about what happened. That helped a lot.Also, writing in a journal has helped me to. I suggest you write in a journal and talk with others about the relationship and break up.
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Re: Going through a breakup

Postby AnnieLove1234 » Tue May 18, 2021 3:32 pm

Caligirl89 wrote:This guy sounds like a real jerk. What has helped me in the past with break ups is talking with supportive people about it. Last year, I broke up with my now ex fiance. We broke up due to his mom. That is a long story but what I will say she is a narcissist and verbally abusive. I was with my ex fiance for almost 7 years and engaged for 6 years. I had to move back in with my mom and brother (my dad passed away in 2016 from cancer). I was living with my ex fiance and got kicked out. His mom came to live with us in 2018. My ex fiance lives not that far from my mom. After moving back in with my mom, I was talking about everything with my mom, brother, friends, and extended family about what happened. That helped a lot.Also, writing in a journal has helped me to. I suggest you write in a journal and talk with others about the relationship and break up.


Thank you so much and I thank I the ladies who are trying. I was dealing with a huge loss in my life, a very close person passed away.
He was very supportive and that is how he expressed his emotions that he loved me at the time where I was literally suffering from the loss I had in my life. The first year he was super loving and as we went through the years I started to notice that he doesn't want to listen to me.

He would tell me things like " if you expressed xxx opinion people would think you are crazy" or he would say things I don't fall in love with girls based on their appearances.

As my life moved on started to express myself, a lot of people started to like me. A lot of guys stepped away because i kept telling them i have someone and I am waiting for him.

He was verbally abusive i am talking about things like " you are retarded" " f**k your emotions" " i know you would never leave" " you need a mental hospital" " if you don't do that or behave that way people will talk bad"

He would even say things like " my god put you in pain" or sometimes " i hope your day gets ruined"

Most of the time when I ask him can you tell me something sexual I am feeling XXX , he would refuse in every way and makes up a thousand excuses to not to talk to me in any intimate manner.
But when he needs it I am forced to sit with him and help help do his things.

All of this were things that caused the breakup, I tried to tell him and he kept saying he has given me everything and i should be ashamed for telling him all of that.

He said I should not be saying how I feel and to take things easy because i am too dramatic, and because i am about to get my period i am experiencing mood swings.

He has been so hurtful that his mother got involved and asked him to stop one time.

I have a lot on my chest. As a person who went through all kinds of bullying and verbal abuse.
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Re: Going through a breakup

Postby Allie88 » Tue May 18, 2021 4:09 pm

The more you disclose about this long distance relationship you had - i struggle to understand why you would over last few weeks desperately try to cling onto it so bad. As i said in every previous response - have some respect for yourself and move on from this. Why take that abuse and still go back for more - online of all places.
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Re: Going through a breakup

Postby AnnieLove1234 » Tue May 18, 2021 6:35 pm

Allie88 wrote:The more you disclose about this long distance relationship you had - i struggle to understand why you would over last few weeks desperately try to cling onto it so bad. As i said in every previous response - have some respect for yourself and move on from this. Why take that abuse and still go back for more - online of all places.


Allie, there is so much more I didn't really talk about. Because its personal. I was hopping he would change. But honestly I am so dead inside if I see his picture I don't cry because I miss him. I will cry over the fact that i hoped for something out of him.

I was so loyal to him sent him good mornings every day, and left so many things just for the sake of him. I stood against my own parents.

I can't believe myself I feel like an idiot, I don't have friends to talk to ...He knows that I only ave two friends and my social circle is very small.

I guess he knew the time to get into my life, when I was at my weakest point.

I remember opening up to him about how severely I was bullied in school. So when we fight the world people will hate you and stuff comes out.

I even opened up about a lot of personal things... trauma... I guess me being so pure and honest has gotten him against me.

I guess my advice to everyone, don't open up to things you have always kept personal. No matter how long life goes on, the other party will always hold it against you

I guess I just need to get things off my chest, even when I have told him now I will leave , he said you will come back. So I blocked him.
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Re: Going through a breakup

Postby Kamalama » Tue May 18, 2021 7:20 pm

You have done the hardest part, so stick to your decision and put it behind you. Just because he was a horrible person and exploited your kindness doesn't mean that everyone is the same. The right person will come along who won't use what you tell them against you. When you do decide to date again take lessons from this otherwise you'll just be in the same situation you've just got out of.
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Re: Going through a breakup

Postby Kamalama » Tue May 18, 2021 7:22 pm

Like Allie says I think you would benefit from therapy to help build confidence.
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Re: Going through a breakup

Postby Roxysmom45 » Tue May 18, 2021 8:10 pm

What Allie said, please seek therapy at this point.
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