I don’t know what to call this

Teen health

I don’t know what to call this

Postby Music girl07 » Sat Apr 10, 2021 9:22 pm

Hi everyone. I haven’t posted anything on here for a while but I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest.
I’m not sure if I can carry on anymore. Everyday is a struggle and it’s so tiring to live my life. Not becuase im doing too much in it. Becuase I’m doing too little. I hate my life and I hate myself. Everyday I wake up wishing I hadn’t woken up at all. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. My anxiety follows me all throughout the day. And I just feel like I can’t carry on anymore. I just want to go.

I don’t know what posting on here will gain me. I’m not really bothered if I get replys or not. I just want to say what I’m feeling. But I don’t think anything is going to change my mind.
It’s weird becuase I want to change my mind but at the same time. I know I have to go and my life is not worth living anymore.
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Re: I don’t know what to call this

Postby Amelia-15 » Sat Apr 10, 2021 11:01 pm

Life is hard. I know how you feel. Im in a horrible situation right now and its hard to get out of bed sometimes. I font think you should kill yourself though. A few weeks ago my dad had a suicide attempt and it was horrible finding him there with a pill bottle in his hand. Just think about your family first....
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Re: I don’t know what to call this

Postby Amelia-15 » Sat Apr 10, 2021 11:01 pm

If you ever want to talk i am here.
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Re: I don’t know what to call this

Postby WriterGirl » Sun Apr 11, 2021 12:07 am

Music girl07 wrote:Hi everyone. I haven’t posted anything on here for a while but I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest.
I’m not sure if I can carry on anymore. Everyday is a struggle and it’s so tiring to live my life. Not becuase im doing too much in it. Becuase I’m doing too little. I hate my life and I hate myself. Everyday I wake up wishing I hadn’t woken up at all. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. My anxiety follows me all throughout the day. And I just feel like I can’t carry on anymore. I just want to go.

I don’t know what posting on here will gain me. I’m not really bothered if I get replys or not. I just want to say what I’m feeling. But I don’t think anything is going to change my mind.
It’s weird becuase I want to change my mind but at the same time. I know I have to go and my life is not worth living anymore.


"A distant star to some, to others I am a necessary sun."
I wrote that a few months ago, while I was pulling myself out of a hole. There are people in your life who need your light. Maybe use it (or another inspirational quote) as a mantra when you're feeling down.

For the mirror thing, well, I can tell you how beautiful you are and start spouting some inner beauty bs, but I'm not going to do that. In the end, everyone see beauty differently, and maybe your vision of it doesn't correspond with what the mirror shows. And that's okay. But you should know that someone out there will find you beautiful, one day.
I've spent my entire life being told how ugly I am. Needless to say, I don't have the best self-esteem. What really helped me was to try not to really look at myself in the mirror, but rather look at the woman I will become. It sounds weird, but now, whenever I look in the mirror, I see the back cover of a book, the place where they put the author's photo. Suddenly, it doesn't matter if I'm beautiful or not, because one day, my face will be on the back of a book. Think of who you might become. Even if it's just something simple, like the picture someone will carry in their wallet, or something crazy, like at an Oscar's speech or something.

For the anxiety, try to find the thing that slows it down. Is it talking to people? Is it writing it down? Is it slowly counting in your head (or out loud) until you're calm? There's many things.

Please, please, don't give up on this world. Think of something really simple, a tiny little joy of life. Sunrises, sunsets. Chocolate, candy. The sound of someone laughing, the moment when you share a look with someone, as if you're both thinking the same thing. The solid feel of the earth under your feet, the weightless feeling you sometimes get at night. The fluttering of your heart when you see someone you like. That moment when you remember a joke from long ago, and you feel like laughing for no reason. Think of all the good memories you have, but most of all, think of all the memories you'd like to MAKE. Those are the most important ones.
It really doesn't matter that you're not doing much with your life. There are almost 8 billion people on this planet. Not all of us can be the next Malala Yousafzai. The only thing that matters is that you're not doing the opposite. Unless you're killing people or something, then you're perfectly fine.

Remember; you might not be making a difference in a ton of people's lives, but there's a few that need you. Mainly, yourself. You be there for yourself.
God loves you and He knows of your awesomeness, even if you can't see it yourself.
Keep shining your light! ❤❤❤

Sending you a strong hug,
Some random stranger on the internet (that believes in you)
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Re: I don’t know what to call this

Postby Music girl07 » Thu Apr 15, 2021 9:58 pm

I’m still holding on but I don’t want to anymore. The pain of having to try everyday is so much. I hate my life and I don’t think I can try to forget about it anymore I just want to get out of here. I hate it
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Re: I don’t know what to call this

Postby The_psychoTeddyBear » Thu Apr 15, 2021 10:24 pm

I'm really sorry you feel that way, believe me I know personally what it's like. Try, keep on trying. I know this world is dark and disappointing but I know one day you will find your light.
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Re: I don’t know what to call this

Postby Music girl07 » Thu Apr 15, 2021 10:32 pm

I can’t. I can’t carry on anymore. I’ve tried and I’ve tried and I’m exhausted. I can’t keep waking up and doing the same thing over and over again. Wishing it would end. Yes I’m breathing yes I have a life. But I’m not alive. I died a long time ago and I don’t have the strength to keep trying anymore. Living for pain is something I am done with. I’m done with it
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Re: I don’t know what to call this

Postby Selenelion » Thu Apr 15, 2021 11:19 pm

Sounds like depression. You need to tell your parents and go to a doctor.
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Re: I don’t know what to call this

Postby Music girl07 » Thu Apr 15, 2021 11:33 pm

It’s not that simple. I know I have depression. I have anxiety too. But telling my parents, the ones that have caused this, will not do a thing. A doctor will give me medicine and tell me I can be fixed. I don’t want to be fixed. I want to be left alone
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Re: I don’t know what to call this

Postby Radio_Girl » Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:01 am

Being left alone isn't going to help you. You need to find a healthy relationship. Whether it's a therapist or friend.
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