Am I wrong??

Am I wrong??

Postby Iza_96 » Sat Feb 20, 2021 9:23 pm

Hi everyone I hope you can give me some advice and sorry I just need to vent. So I’ve been married for almost 6 years we have 2 kids.I feel like I was at wrong for saying something that happened few months ago that bothered me but never said anything because I didn’t want to argue with him but he said that his brother’s ex wife was a very beautiful Woman like everything about her and before that when I had my first baby he kept telling me to be fit and to take care of my self the way she did when she had a baby and on Thursday night I talked to him about my mommy belly and that I can’t get rid of it and when I told him that he said “well maybe if you had taken care of yourself you wouldn’t be in this situation” and then I was upset because I remembered what he said about his brother’s ex wife and I burst out “well maybe I should of taken care of my self like the “beautiful Woman” right?” He didn’t say anything and I went to shower still upset about it I came back and he was expecting s*x but I wasn’t up for it I was feeling insecure, sad, and my head was hurting. I said “No I don’t feel good” and he got up and said “Ok” and stayed with my son in his bed hasn’t said anything since Thursday and yesterday night I told him I wanted to tell him how I felt, how I feel insecure. All I got was “No I’m not feeling good”. I kept asking like was it because I said no to s*x? He didn’t answer and he was about to leave to sleep with my son again. I got up closed the door I told him “please I need you to know I feel, I need to talk to you”. He said “What part “I don’t feel good” don’t you understand?”and said his head hurts his ear hurts. Am I at wrong for doing this? Also before that I caught him cheating(not sexually but through Facebook with this older married woman). I don’t know I feel like all my emotions collapsed. I just hate he always says nice things about and to other women but he’s never sweet to me. Also what I was mad about is that(I know not all women think this is important) but he didn’t get me anything or said anything to me on Valentine’s Day he has said nice things to other women on Valentines Day. I don’t expect anything I just don’t like that he could say it to other women but not to me, to his wife, to mother of his kids.
Who ever replies or reads this thank you. It really means a lot for me.
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Re: Am I wrong??

Postby Amaretti » Sat Feb 20, 2021 10:08 pm

Hi lovely, okay I know we can't see the whole picture from one question but by the sounds of things you are in a toxic relationship. A partner should never put you down for the way you look especially after having his children, you could be super skinny before kids and still have a belly afterwards that's just normal and you shouldn't be made to feel insecure about this. Men sometimes get annoyed when they can't have s*x that doesn't mean he can treat you the way he has been, you should be able to talk to him about your feeling or anything that is troubling you. Lastly saying other women are sexy and also talking to other women to me is a clear sign he's thinking about cheating or maybe no longer wants to be in this relationship, this is my own opinion based off of what you have said I don't know any real details so take this with a pinch of salt.
My advice would be to write him a letter, pour all of your feeling into it mention everything you have here and everything you want him to know. Dont give him ultimatums and try not to "blame" him what I mean is instead saying "you don't do this" or "its your fault im doing this" or whatever, say "I feel like this" , "I'm hurt that you would say or do that" and maybe end it with "i just want to be able to talk to you, but I feel like you'll just get angry"
If he reads the letter he should understand what he's doing is wrong or at least talk to you about it, if he doesn't even bother to read the letter he may be giving up on the relationship in which case you can either ask him to go to marriage counciling or ask for a divorce (extreme i know but toxic relationship don't just hurt you they hurt your kids too). All the best x
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